(Written by Marla after she came home on 3/16/18)

"3/26/18

     Journal part.  Hey, read it.  Wish I could type it into my blog.

     I had the regular pain-killer at midnight, on schedule (I had programmed my phone to go off when I needed to give Marla her meds.).  Laid back down and the dratted canula started wheezing.

     Honestly, I'm afraid to sleep.  Every morning I wake up feeling a bit worse - muzzy headed and like I can't get hold of my body.  Something inside wants to just let go, but I'm not ready.  At all.  In so many ways there aren't pages enough to write them.  But, really, is anyone?

     I've heard so many versions of heaven and afterlife described.  Which one is real?  Are any of them?  The thing I hoped for most was for my departed loved ones to welcome me.  I've dreamed them a couple times, but they ring false.  I've go 'You've got to walk that lonesome valley' warring with 'You'll never walk alone' combating in my head. 

     After 2 a.m.  Going to sleep.  I hope I can write more tomorrow."