Thanksgiving, 2016

The turkey breast I bought turned out to be pre-seasoned, so I didn't try the recipe I'd planned. OK by me, I'm a very lazy cook. It even came with a gravy mix. Plopped it in the crock pot with 1/2 cup water and that was that. Dinner will be at 4. I'm also having dressing made like Mom always did, a different cranberry salad than hers - it's labor-intensive and I'll have more time to cook at Christmas. Also scalloped potatoes (from a box) and asparagus. I have a piece of pumpkin pie from Village Inn that I picked up last night when I ate dinner. So I'm set.

This will be my first Thanksgiving alone, since Uchol died last year and Mom died last March. That's the last of my immediate family. Don't feel sorry for me, I don't. I like solitude, the peace and quiet. Much as I remember those huge family Thanksgiving dinners at Grandma and Granddad Smith's with fondness, the crowd got to me and after dinner I'd go find somewhere I could be alone for a while. Or close to it. Sometimes I went out and played with my two (or three if the California Smiths came) younger cousins. The women would all go into the kitchen to clean up and divide the food, the men would park in front of the Game, and the teenagers would go upstairs to shoot pool on Granddad's table. Not really fitting with any of those groups, I'd find somewhere else to be and recharge.

Today I'm going to hook up the X-box I bought for my birthday a couple weeks ago, and the Skyrim game I bought with it. Wish me luck! I've done some computer games but never an X-box, or a game that's as complicated as that one looks. It also looks like a lot of fun.

So much to be thankful for, I don't know what to write down. My house, my job, my friends, the little view of the hills out my study window. My church and the people in it. My writing. Books and cats. Coffee. Ice cream. Not having to worry about food. Having enough money to be comfortable. My cousins. I'm also thankful for the work Jared Padelecki and Wentworth Miller have done to ease the stigma against mental illness in general and depression in particular. Revealing their own struggles when they're so much in the public eye was very brave. Jared's posts in Facebook in particular have made me realize I'm not the weak-willed emotional basket case loser for having depression that people have made me feel like my entire life. The fact that I'm 63 and still here means I'm strong, I'm a warrior. I no longer have shame about my depression, and that makes me less depressed. I know I can fight it because I have fought it.

So, despite the losses of the last year, I am deeply thankful for my life today.

Thanksgiving

What am I thankful for this year? Many things.

That my husband and I are still alive. We both had life-threatening illnesses this year. I'm fully recovered, but with some challenges that will be with me forever. My husband has recovered from the worst of it but has lingering problems that still need medical assistance. Considering what we went through, we're both in pretty good condition.

That I was able to find another part-time job. It's not big money but it's enough to scrape by on.

That my Mom is not only still alive, but still bright and active.

For all my friends, who have been terrific during this hard year, giving love and support, as well as car rides, grocery pickup, and cat care.


I am grateful for thrift shops. I dropped 40 pounds with this illness, going from a size 20 to a 16, and had to buy a work wardrobe with very little money. Being able to buy slacks and blazers for $4-$6 each saved me.

I am grateful for electronic publishing, which is permitting me to self-publish my novels without a) having so pay megabucks and b) having to store hundreds of copies somewhere in my tiny place. I won't make any money off them but at least they're out there.

That I was able to keep my front teeth, and didn't have to do chemo.

That I live in Albuquerque.

That I have five wonderful, sweet, snuggly cats that are all in good health though two are quite elderly.

That Terry Pratchett has written all those books, and can probably write at least a few more before his disease takes over.