So how come no one gets bent out of shape over 'Season's Greetings?'

It's December, and the "It's not Happy Holidays, it's Merry Christmas" memes are swamping Facebook, posted by (I hope, since they're my friends and family) well-meaning Christians who see this as a legitimate way to keep Christ in Christmas.

It isn't. Sorry. Arguing about semantics once a year does nothing for anyone.

Here's why it bothers me so much. First off, no one is telling you (except perhaps your boss if you work retail) to say Happy Holidays. Nobody. I have always said Merry Christmas, and no one has ever been offended by it. The rudest return I ever got was "Thanks! I don't celebrate Christmas, but you have a good one." Oh, those heathens. What rude barbarians.

I worked as a sales clerk for some years between college and graduate school, and we were told that it was store policy to say Happy Holidays. So, at work, I did. At least once a day, a customer would get in my face and snarl, "It's not Happy Holidays, it's Merry Christmas!" Or they'd sneer, "I'm a CHRISTIAN. It's Merry Christmas." My, how the Christians spread love and joy during the season of the Savior's birth.

Around once a week, one of those doing God's work on Earth would treat me to a lecture on how I was destroying Christmas and Christianity itself with those two simple words. It was plain from their body language and voice that they considered me about one step away from worshiping Satan.

It's been around 30 years since I last worked retail, but that blasted snarky "it's not Happy Holidays" meme brings back every single snarl.

Enjoy your American freedom of speech by using the Christmas greeting of your choice. And if you don't like someone else's choice, why not try practicing Christian forgiveness and just say "Thank you, you too."

Pet Peeve: gum popping

Everyone has a sound or two that they just can't stand. One of mine is popping gum.

Frankly, if you're over 13, you should begin to break this bad habit. If you're over 21 and still popping your gum, everyone will think you're thirteen. If you're very obviously well over 13, you just look like a moron.